Love & Sex - Aries
When it comes to sex (and it will, don't you worry!), forget all about mint sauce with these loving Lambs, and think about Tabasco instead. These champ chops (both the chaps and chapesses) are sensationally sexy and saucy, and so hot and spicy that they'll make you gasp. (Just like Oliver Twist, you'll be coming back for more.)
These folk are one of the two signs of sex (Scorpio's the other one -what a surprise!), and it's never far from their minds, making them lewd, lusty and lecherous. (Lumme!) Even if a woolly jumper's quiet on the outside, there'll be furiously fervent feelings undulating underneath that fluffy exterior, waiting to pop out and grab you at the first opportunity!
Before you slump on the sofa, thunderstruck at the thought and plotting how to find a ravishing (literally!) Ram as soon as possible (can you get them in Sainsbury's?) don't forget that these fiery folk are ruled by Mars, which is a captivating (and colossal) combination. For Librans, the polar sign of Aries, their hearts rule their heads, but guess what area of their anatomy makes Aries tick! (And it's not their Dan Dare watches, either!) Arian men, especially, have one-track minds that run constantly on the rails of sex and salaciousness.
They're very voracious indeed, but if they can't have an amorous outlet for all that emotional energy, it can backfire in some very worrying ways. These folk have to be physical in some way or other, so if they aren't getting enough exercise in the boudoir (or on the beach, the back garden or the back of the bike sheds - it's all the same to them!), they must make sure that they expend that energy in some sporty way. It won't matter what it is, whether it's wrestling at Wembley (great for getting rid of any rage they're feeling), or watching their favourite football team on the terraces. But if that boundless bounce is blocked, they'll become boisterous and could find a few fisticuffs seem to be the only answer.
Even Ramettes have their priorities right where sex is concerned, and are sensationally sexy and amorously attractive. They have little antennae on top of their headstrong heads, which constantly emit sexy signals saying 'Come and get me, or I'll come and get you.' Gosh!
Don't fall into the trap of thinking that Rams, Sheep and Lambs aren't loving. What else could they be, being such fiery folk? They're also very vulnerable, and can get hurt much more easily than you'd expect. When they fall in love they'll pop their paramour on top of a pedestal so high their heads will be way up in the clouds! (And covered with a sprinkling of snow!) But when they topple off their perches, the Arian will be absolutely astonished, and desperately devastated. What a sorry sight! You see, they can't bear to think they were wrong.
Feeling down in the dumps and in need of a little love, loyalty and laughter? Well, don't just sit there - go out and grab a captivating Cancerian! One dose of their enchanting elixir of emotion and you'll soon be feeling as good as new. And their smashing sense of humour will keep you in stitches.
Why are they such scrumptious crustaceans? Well, these Cardinal creatures (which means they know what they want out of life) are ruled by the maternal old Moon, making even the men motherly and pootchily protective of their nearest and dearest. They're also the first of the three Water signs, so they exude emotion and floods of feeling from every pore. It also means that they're sensationally sensitive and incredibly intuitive.
Now, you might have a wee wonder over why they're called Cancer the Crab, but the instant you picture one of those crustaceous creatures you'll know why. Crabs are encased in a solid shell that protects a very soft centre indeed. Well, Cancerians are just the same. They pretend to be crusty, crotchety old crones and cronettes, but that's only because they're feeling threatened. Be nice to them and those nasty-looking nippers will start cuddling and caressing you. From then on, as long as you're kind and caring towards them, you'll have a friend for life. But hurt them in any way and you'll see so sullen a sulk that you'll be totally bewildered!
Home is where the heart is for these comfy Crabs. It's also where their family and friends are, and any permanent partner of a Cancerian must expect to see (or hear) an astounding amount of their in-laws! They need to feel safe and secure, and they often prefer to nestle in their nests with the one they love than be out in the big wide world. One thing they'll feather their nests with is lots of little Crablets, and even if they can't have any themselves, they'll adopt someone else's in one way or another.
The Cancerian man can be a very cheerful Crab indeed, unless he's still tied to his mother's pinny strings. He's also a very habitual homme, who's an old-fashioned thing at heart.
What a wonderful woman the Crabette can be! Even if she's stunningly sexy, she'll still be magically motherly at the same time. It's no surprise, then, that this lass makes the best mum in the whole world. She'll cosset her kiddies like crazy, and lavish love and loyalty on everyone she adores. How delicious!